Your Body Isn't Betraying You: The Menopause Weight Conversation We Need to Have

That moment when you look in the mirror and don't recognise the body staring back at you.

When clothes that fit last year suddenly feel like they belong to someone else.

When you find yourself googling "how to lose menopause weight" at 2 AM while fighting night sweats.

We see you. And we need to talk about what's really happening
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‍So What is Menopause Anyway?
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Menopause is a significant life transition that most individuals with ovaries will experience, while it’s technically labelled as the day that marks one year without a period, it has three distinct stages:

1. The initial stage: perimenopause - often occurs between the ages 40-50, you might be experiencing irregular periods at this time
2. The second stage: menopause - this stage is diagnosed when it has been 12 months since your last period
3. The final stage: post-menopause - this is the stage that occurs after you have reached menopause and it lasts for the rest of your life

These stages encompass many changes that can affect your sense of identity and self-perception.

The Body Image Struggle in Menopause

The changes happening during this transition can feel overwhelming. After years of knowing your body in a certain way, suddenly:

• Your shape shifts
• Your weight redistributes to new areas (like the abdomen)
• Your relationship with your reflection becomes complicated
• You feel pressure to "fix" what isn't broken

This struggle is intensified by messages we've internalised throughout our lives:

1. "A changing body is a failing body” - It's not. It's adapting to a major hormonal transition
2. "Weight gain means you've lost control" - Your body is responding to biological changes, not a lack of willpower
3. "You should look the same at 50 as you did at 30" - This unrealistic expectation sets you up for constant disappointment
4. "Your body's changes are something to fight against" - What if they're actually part of your body's wisdom?
5. "Your worth is connected to maintaining a specific appearance" - It never was, and it still isn't

The Impact of Food Restriction

When body image distress hits during menopause, many of us turn to familiar solutions: dieting and restriction.

Here's what actually happens when you restrict food intake:

• Your body fights to maintain its set weight range. This range is largely determined by genetics and your body's unique physiology, not willpower.
• Restricting food triggers a survival response. Your body doesn’t know the difference between intentional dieting and food scarcity, it adapts by slowing metabolism, increasing hunger hormones and prioritising energy conservation.
• Mood and energy levels can suffer. Food restriction is linked to increased anxiety, irritability, fatigue, and brain fog, making everyday life feel harder.
• The restrict-binge cycle isn't your fault. When your body believes it's being starved, it releases powerful hormonal signals that make you focus on food and eat more when food is available, often leading to what feels like "losing control."

When Body Image Distress Becomes Dangerous

That voice telling you to:

• Skip meals
• Cut out entire food groups
• Exercise despite exhaustion
• Feel shame about your hunger
• Obsess over the number on the scale

That's not your authentic self speaking. That's years of internalised body shame taking advantage of your vulnerability during a major life transition.

The Truth No One's Telling You

Over 80% of women aged 45-60 are unsatisfied with their body weight (Medeiros de Morais et al., 2024). On top of this, nearly 1 in 3 people in this age range struggle with disordered eating behaviours (Finch et al, 2023). Many women who struggled with food and body image in their younger years find themselves triggered during menopause. Others develop disordered eating for the first time as they try to "fight" their changing bodies.

Disordered or restrictive eating can significantly alter the hormonal balance in your body causing symptoms that overlap with menopause such as missed periods. These symptoms may mask those of menopause which is why it is key to recognise how menopause may be affecting you.

Some of the key symptoms associated with menopause:

• Brain fog and poor concentration - “what was I doing?”
• Fatigue and low energy - “why am I so tired all the time?”
• Mood changes and anxiety - “things in life that were once easy are now paralysing!”
• Sleep disturbances - “what is sleep anymore?”

A Different Path Forward

Instead of fighting your body's natural adaptation process:

• Challenge your own beliefs about what bodies "should" look like at midlife
• Recognise that health exists in bodies of all sizes and shapes
• Focus on how you feel in your body rather than how it looks
• Understand that your body has a powerful regulatory system that resists weight manipulation
• Approach eating with curiosity and compassion
• Find movement that brings you joy rather than punishment
• Be kind to yourself during this major life transition

Breaking Free from the Body Shame Cycle

When you step off the self-criticism treadmill:

• Your metabolism can recover from the impacts of restriction
• Your relationship with food can heal
• Your body can find its natural rhythm without the stress of constant monitoring
• You can invest your precious midlife energy into what truly matters to you

Your body is working hard to carry you through this significant life transition, and we understand that menopause can be both challenging and overwhelming. At Exhale, we offer a safe and supportive space where you can explore the changes that are happening in your body and their impact on your relationship with food. Our compassionate approach can help you navigate this journey with confidence, care, and a deeper understanding of your well-being.

References

Finch, J. E., Xu, Z., Girdler, S., & Baker, J. H. (2023). Network analysis of eating disorder symptoms in women in perimenopause and early postmenopause. Menopause, 30(3), 275–282. https://doi.org/10.1097/GME.0000000000002141

Medeiros de Morais, M. S., Macêdo, S. G. G. F., do Nascimento, R. A., Vieira, M. C. A., Moreira, M. A., da Câmara, S. M. A., Almeida, M. D. G., & Maciel, Á. C. C. (2024). Dissatisfaction with body image and weight gain in middle-aged women: A cross sectional study. PloS one, 19(1). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0290380

Talaulikar, V. (2022). Menopause transition: Physiology and symptoms. Best Practice & Research Clinical Obstetrics & Gynaecology, 81, 3-7.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bpobgyn.2022.03.003

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