Many people reach adulthood without realising they might have ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), particularly if their traits don't match stereotypical presentations often depicted in media. Understanding ADHD through a neuroaffirming lens means recognising it as a natural variation in human neurology rather than simply a disorder to be fixed. If you've been wondering whether you might have ADHD, this guide explores common experiences and traits that might resonate with you.
Common ADHD Experiences
ADHD manifests differently in each person, but there are some common experiences that many people with ADHD share. You might recognise yourself in some of these descriptions:
Attention and Focus
- Variable attention: Your attention might be inconsistent rather than simply "deficit." You may hyperfocus intensely on engaging activities while struggling to maintain focus on less stimulating tasks.
- Interest-based nervous system: Your ability to focus, motivate yourself, and initiate tasks might be strongly tied to how interesting or stimulating you find them.
- Difficulty with sustained attention: You might find your mind wandering during lectures, meetings, or conversations, even when you're trying to pay attention.
- Hyperfocus: You may occasionally enter states of intense concentration where you lose track of time, forget to eat, or don't notice people trying to get your attention.
- Easily distracted: Your attention might be pulled away by external stimuli (sounds, movements) or internal thoughts.
Executive Functioning
- Time blindness: You might struggle to accurately perceive the passage of time or estimate how long tasks will take.
- Task initiation: Starting tasks might be difficult, even for activities you want to do or enjoy.
- Organisation challenges: You may struggle with keeping physical spaces or digital information organised in conventional ways.
- Working memory: You might forget what you were doing mid-task, walk into rooms and forget why, or lose track of conversations.
- Task switching: Transitioning between activities might be particularly difficult, either getting "stuck" in current activities or feeling overwhelmed when shifting focus.
- Prioritisation difficulties: You may struggle to determine which tasks are most important or find yourself focusing on less important details.
Emotional Regulation
- Emotional intensity: You might experience emotions more intensely than others seem to.
- Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD): You may have heightened sensitivity to perceived criticism or rejection.
- Frustration tolerance: Small setbacks might trigger disproportionate feelings of frustration.
- Mood swings: Your emotional state might change quickly in response to stimuli or situations.
- Seeking stimulation: You may crave excitement or stimulation when bored, sometimes leading to impulsive decisions.
Physical Restlessness and Energy
- Variable energy levels: You might experience fluctuating energy states, from feeling wired and unable to relax to complete exhaustion.
- Fidgeting: You may have a need to move, fidget, or keep your hands busy.
- Mental restlessness: Even when your body is still, your mind might race with thoughts, ideas, or worries.
- Sleep challenges: You might have difficulty falling asleep due to racing thoughts or struggle with maintaining consistent sleep patterns.
Social Experiences
- Interrupting: You may find yourself interrupting others in conversation, not out of rudeness but because you're afraid you'll forget your thought.
- Social exhaustion: Social interactions might be draining due to the effort required to manage attention and impulses.
- Speaking pace: You might speak quickly, jump between topics, or struggle to get to the point because your thoughts move rapidly.
- Processing time: You may need extra time to process certain types of information in conversations.
How ADHD Often Presents in Women and Girls
ADHD has historically been under-recognised in those assumed female at birth for several reasons, including gender-based socialisation and research bias. If you're a woman or were raised as a girl, you might recognise these patterns:
- Inattentive presentation: You might primarily experience inattentive symptoms (like daydreaming or disorganisation) rather than the hyperactive symptoms more commonly identified in boys.
- Internal hyperactivity: Your hyperactivity might manifest as racing thoughts and internal restlessness rather than the physical hyperactivity more visible in males.
- Compensatory strategies: You may have developed elaborate systems, routines, and organisational tools to manage your ADHD traits.
- Perfectionism: You might hold yourself to extremely high standards to compensate for ADHD-related challenges.
- People-pleasing: You may have become adept at meeting others' expectations while feeling constantly overwhelmed.
- Anxiety coexistence: Your ADHD might be masked by or misdiagnosed as anxiety, which often develops as a response to ADHD challenges.
- Hormonal impacts: You might notice that your ADHD symptoms fluctuate with hormonal cycles, often worsening before or during menstruation.
- Different hyperactivity manifestation: Your hyperactivity might present as talking excessively, emotional reactivity, or being constantly busy rather than physical restlessness.
Understanding Masking
Masking refers to consciously or unconsciously hiding ADHD traits to appear more neurotypical. Many people with ADHD mask to varying degrees, often without realising they're doing so.
Common Masking Behaviours
- Creating extensive reminder systems that others don't see
- Exhaustive preparation for tasks others might do spontaneously
- Arriving extremely early to appointments to compensate for time management difficulties
- Rehearsing what to say in social situations to avoid going off-topic
- Developing meticulous organisational systems that require tremendous behind-the-scenes effort
- Working much longer hours than peers to produce similar quality work
- Using caffeine or other stimulants to self-medicate attention difficulties
- Avoiding situations where ADHD traits might be revealed
- Creating a persona of being "quirky" or "spontaneous" to cover organisational challenges
The Cost of Masking
While masking can help navigate a neurotypical world, it often comes with significant costs:
- Exhaustion: The cognitive effort required for constant self-monitoring is draining
- Imposter syndrome: You might feel like you're "faking it" in professional or academic settings
- Delayed diagnosis: Effective masking can hide ADHD traits from others (and yourself)
- Mental health impacts: Chronic masking is associated with higher rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout
- ADHD burnout: When masking becomes unsustainable, you might experience periods of complete mental and physical exhaustion where coping strategies collapse
Recognising Your Own Masking
You might be masking if you:
- Feel like you're working twice as hard as everyone else just to keep up
- Have a significant disparity between your public competence and private struggles
- Experience anxiety about people discovering how much you struggle with certain tasks
- Feel like a fraud despite achievements and accomplishments
- Are exhausted by the end of workdays or social events from the effort of "keeping it together"
- Have created elaborate systems to compensate for ADHD-related challenges
- Feel like you can only "be yourself" in certain safe environments or with specific people
Self-Assessment Questions
Consider the following questions as you explore whether you might have ADHD:
- Do you find your ability to focus varies dramatically depending on your interest in the task?
- Do you often lose track of time, either hyperfocusing or getting distracted?
- Do you struggle with starting tasks even when you know they're important?
- Is your mind often busy with multiple thoughts, making it hard to focus on one thing?
- Do you have a history of being called "spacey," "lazy," or told you're "not living up to your potential"?
- Do you feel overwhelmed by organisation and time management in ways others don't seem to?
- Do you need external deadlines or pressure to complete tasks?
- Do you often feel more intensely emotional than others around you?
- Do you find yourself drawn to novelty, stimulation, or risk in ways others don't understand?
- Have you developed extensive coping mechanisms to manage aspects of daily life that others seem to handle effortlessly?
Next Steps in Your Journey
If you resonated with many of the experiences described in this post, you might consider:
- Learning more: Read books and articles by authors with ADHD, follow ADHD content creators, or join online communities for people with ADHD. Check out our recommended books and podcasts
- Self-reflection: Keep a journal noting situations where you recognise potential ADHD traits or experiences.
- Finding community: Connect with other individuals with ADHD or those exploring their neurodivergence.
- Professional assessment: Consider seeking an evaluation from a professional who understands ADHD in adults and takes a neuroaffirming approach.
- Explore support strategies: Many people benefit from ADHD coaching, cognitive behavioural therapy approaches designed for ADHD, medication, organisational tools, or combinations of these approaches.
- Self-compassion: Whatever you discover about yourself, approach your journey with kindness and acceptance.
The ADHD-Autism Overlap
Many people exploring ADHD may also recognise traits of autism in themselves, and for good reason. Research increasingly shows significant overlap between these neurotypes, with many individuals meeting criteria for both conditions. The executive functioning challenges, sensory sensitivities, and social differences can appear similar or interrelated. If you find yourself identifying with aspects of both ADHD and autism, you're not alone. Many people exist in this neurological intersection, and understanding both aspects of your neurotype may provide a more complete picture of your experiences and needs.
Final Thoughts
Exploring whether you might have ADHD is a deeply personal journey. There's no single "way" to have ADHD, and identification is ultimately about understanding yourself better and finding helpful frameworks for your experiences. Whether or not you ultimately identify as having ADHD, learning about neurodiversity can provide valuable insights into your unique neurological makeup.
Remember that ADHD is not simply a collection of deficits - it comes with genuine strengths like creativity, problem-solving abilities, empathy, and resilience. In a neuroaffirming framework, the goal isn't changing people with ADHD but rather creating environments and systems that accommodate different neurological styles, allowing all people to thrive as their authentic selves.
At Exhale Psychology Centre we offer person-centered, inclusive, and neuroaffirming assessments to support people to identify their neurotype (autism, ADHD, or AuDHD). Assessments can be conducted face-to-face at our Brisbane practice or via telehealth. You can find out more about our assessment process here.
